IC Inbox for Kaisou

[actnormal]

WIP

Comments

text; un: midnightfishing, a couple days after the faelympics

[illucesco]

coming over to pick up fluvius and drop off snacks and a console. no golden salmon. if i see one more golden salmon i'm probably gonna lose it.

btw i know king me said you should get access to warping and hammerspace but i need you to promise me you won't fill the armiger with things you got from the dumpster. [He hasn't even figured out how to give people access to his abilities yet, you'd think the king would've left him with that much on top of this whole mess.]

[actnormal]

Hey Noct, where's your fishing gear?

[illucesco]

touché.

but i'm begging you here. what if i dip into it for a weapon and i come out with someone's old and leaky lava lamp?

[actnormal]

Why would I have picked up something that dangerous?

[illucesco]

i'm using it as an example. i'm just saying, the armiger is supposed to be used in life-or-death situations. if it's not something you can use in a life-or-death situation it shouldn't be in the armiger.

[. . .]

shit i sound like dad AND ignis.

[actnormal]

Your dad and who? Σ（￣□￣；）

[illucesco]

remember when i told you about those three guys i was on a road trip with? ignis is the guy with glasses.

he was also my adviser. in practice he was more like the group mom, which was hilarious, because he was our age. the number of times i used to hear "the armiger is not a laundry hamper" from him...

the armiger is not a laundry hamper by the way.

[actnormal]

That reminds me. How annoyed would you be if I got a washer/dryer off of Craigslist?

[Caleb that might be a fire hazard!!]

[illucesco]

that’s a fire hazard. stop getting things from craigslist, half the time they come pre-broken at best.

look if you need new appliances we can go to target together, i need a new coffeemaker anyway.

[actnormal]

I've gotten things off Craigslist plenty of times and only one of them started a fire. And that was because pizza ovens can do that!

[illucesco]

do you want to talk to the property insurance people? because i've talked to them and it was one of the worst and most awkward conversations i ever had with a human being.

listen, if not target, maybe the goodwill in undertown? i mean yeah he gives out weird shit but none of it's burned my apartment down.

[actnormal]

More or less awkward than that girl from high school? (¬_¬ )

Does he sell appliances? (⊙_⊙)

[illucesco]

you swore never to bring her up again.

yes. apparently. guy sells things like magic wands that change your outfit instantly, a washer probably isn't that far out of his wheelhouse.

[actnormal]

(★≧▽^))★☆

I know he sells food--I found some Mountain Dew and a weirdly flavorless drink when I got my Pokemon--but I didn't see appliances. Sweet!

[illucesco]

got a flavorless drink too. i still have no idea how they managed to make it taste like absolutely nothing at all.

if we don't see anything, i will call sam and see if he'll sell you something that actually works. [He'll make such a sad face at Sampo if he doesn't.]

[actnormal]

Sam? (・・ ) ?

[illucesco]

remember my babysitter who went missing?

and remember the guy who sold you the pressure cooker that made dad swear off pressure cookers?

[actnormal]

Mr. Cold Feet?

[illucesco]

they're one and the same.

i was pretty floored too.

[actnormal]

Σ(ﾟﾛ､ﾟ;) Σ(ﾟﾛ､ﾟ;) Σ(ﾟﾛ､ﾟ;) Σ(ﾟﾛ､ﾟ;)

What?!

[illucesco]

i thought he was screwing with me too! but he remembered me beating him at mario kart and specifically the blue shell.

[actnormal]

Blue shells should be illegal.

I'm glad he's okay, though. Then again, is he okay if he's always asking for money or selling something?

[illucesco]

get good maybe.

eh, he's fine. he was like that back when i was younger too.

anyway, if the goodwill doesn't have anything, i'll call him and he'll sell you an appliance that actually works.

[actnormal]

Kiss my ass maybe. :P

Alright! Sorry, I just don't like buying from the big box stores if I can help it. You know me.

[illucesco]

yeah, i should’ve known. just…you know, don’t blindly trust people on craigslist hawking their stuff at dirt-cheap prices. if it sounds too good to be true, at least on the internet, usually it is.

[. . .]

i’m going to find out if ignis also reincarnated and i’m leaving a fruit basket at his door.