IC Inbox for Kaisou

[actnormal]

WIP

Comments

[actnormal]

Ok first why is it in your Froot Loops?

[illucesco]

idk it just showed up. it’s going in the safe after i do the thing.

[actnormal]

Second what do you mean "very extreme ways of expressing displeasure over anyone not of royal blood putting it on".

Third am I selling my soul to you for this?

[illucesco]

one-hit kill kind of extreme. honestly even if you’re of royal blood it will still fuck you up, i remember my dad looked like he was seventy at fifty bc of that ring.

no??? i don’t want your soul??? i don’t even think my friends swore anything to me last time around before i let them have access to magic, but my memory’s fuzzy.

[actnormal]

Are you sure it wasn't just politics? Uncle Regis looked seventy and I know he wasn't.

I had to check!

[illucesco]

i’m sure. capitol hill might’ve turned him grey before his time but he had more years than before.

what would i even do with your soul??? or any soul. stick it in a video game like in a creepypasta? too much trouble.

[actnormal]

You'd do it if it'd make programming Boss AI easier don't lie.

[illucesco]

yeah but if it breaks some random line of code somewhere not only do i have a sentient boss i probably also have like. npcs lacking faces in dramatic cutscenes.

not worth it.

[actnormal]

But you would consider it.

[illucesco]

[He’s got his number.]

yes.

i promise this doesn’t need your soul though. ring has enough ghosts whispering creepily, you’d probably encourage me to root around in a dumpster.

anyway i’m coming over.

[actnormal]

Ok.

Watch out for the Creations btw they really like me

[illucesco]

creations???

[actnormal]

[An image of a catke!]

I don't know how they got here or where they're coming from, but they're from my past life.

Wait is there anyone named Ruan Mei in the city?

[illucesco]

[oh gosh it looks SO cute???]

they’re from your past life? i saw one sleeping on top of a trash can the other day. i just assumed they were mutated cats.

i don’t think so. why? also from your past life?

[actnormal]

Yeah she created them. And then had me create more. I think.

[illucesco]

wait like

she made them? and then you made more?

caleb were you a mad scientist on your space train?

[actnormal]

No? She was though and had an oven thing to make the Creations. I didn't understand it, I just pressed the buttons.

[illucesco]

i have so many questions and they all start with “why” and “how”.

wait how many of them are there and do they eat vegetables?

[actnormal]

I have two or three right now at the house, but you're not allowed to feed them vegetables. Or any of the ones you find in the street. I don't know if they can eat them anyway.

[illucesco]

fine.

[It’s a lucky thing this is over text bc then it’s not accompanied by a pout.]

but if they’re rooting through trash they can probably handle a carrot.

[actnormal]

Do not.

Anyway lemme know when you get here!

[illucesco]

[There’s the sound of a sword thunking into the ground in front of the house not a few minutes later, before Noctis knocks on the door. He looks tired, but it’s about the same level of tired as he usually looks.

There’s a black ring on his ring finger, with a small chunk of crystal set into it. It looks a bit like a signet ring.]

…where are the cat-cake things? I brought some berries Fluvius doesn’t care for.

[actnormal]

They're in the bathroom right now, hiding from Neptune. He was picking on them.

[Said Dewott is currently sulking on the sofa. The Delcatty is no where to be seen.]

Just set them on the counter for now. Is that the ring?

[illucesco]

[to Neptune:] Stop being mean, they’re technically your older siblings.

[And he’ll just move right on in and put a plastic bag full of berries on the counter as directed. As he does so, he nods.]

Yeah, the infamously extremely picky ring. Don’t wear it—it’ll hurt you even if it likes you. [Why the fuck did so many things his past life owned do psychic damage, Christ. He pulls out two kitchen chairs.]

Come on, sit down. It’ll take a few seconds, unless you wanna be all formal about it and swear a bunch of oaths.

[actnormal]

Dewa...

[Hmph!

Caleb ignores his sulky otter and takes a seat.]

When was the last time I was formal with you? Never? Besides, if we did oaths you'd try to make me swear not to find ways to get you to eat a vegetable.